30 Things to know about being married to a Newborn Photographer

30 Things to know about being married to a Newborn Photographer

A fellow photographer posted an article about being married to a wedding photographer this morning, but since I focus on newborns and births, I decided to compose a fabulous list for all you out there like myself who just couldn’t complete relate to it. In collaboration with Krista from over at Simply Newborn Art, these are some of the things we came up with, as well as a few originals.

1. Her work wardrobe consists of yoga pants and tank tops. Maybe some cute jeggings, but unlikely.
2. You won’t be surprised to hear that she got pooped on at work.. again!
3. Your laundry room will frequently smell of baby pee, even if you don’t have kids or pets.
4. She will constantly be doing laundry, yet you will both complain of never having clean clothes.
   Tip: Do NOT think you are doing her a favour by washing her blankets and props. You WILL regret it!
5. You won’t be alarmed if you find men’s clothes in the laundry that aren’t yours.. They are for her daddy clients.
6. She will spend most of her time in front of a computer.
7. Get used to her coming to bed at 3 am.
8. It may look like she’s  just wasting time on her computer in pj’s watching Grey’s Anatomy, but she IS editing. I swear!
9. You won’t even bat an eye when you see her staring for hours at countless images shirtless men.. It’s inspiration, or editing. Promise!
10. Finally, a perk: You will never have to check the mail because she will always bring it in hoping you won’t see her prop stash accumulating..
11. ..However, you will slowly notice an ever-growing collection of baskets and buckets and blankets.. that you are NOT allowed to use.
12. You can’t go shopping without her buying everything she can fit a baby into, or wrap a baby in.
    Tip: Don’t bother trying to stop her. She will just go back later if you do.
    
13. Thinking of borrowing her camera for a quick something? Think again!
14. Don’t bother asking if you can borrow anything from her studio stash, the answer is probably going to be no. And don’t even think about the “I’ll use it, wash it, and put it back and she’ll never know” scenario. SHE WILL KNOW!
15. Your wife coming home with bags of misc. baby items (diapers, wipes, etc.) or maternity gear won’t make you suspicious of a pregnancy. It’s for her clients. You know her pregnancy announcement will be EPIC so no use panicking over nothing.
16. Your will learn to tune out the baby fever talk, and the constant staring at babies and pregnant bellies in public.
17. She will see more boobs in a month than you will in a lifetime.
18. Another perk: Home-studio means house will always be clean.. except for the few hours the hurricane that is a newborn session happens!
19. ..However your house will be 30 degrees every time she has a client over, and the heat bill will be ridiculous, even in the summer.
20. ..Oh, and you will loose at least one room to being the studio & storage. Guaranteed.
21. If she’s got any inclination of DIY, be ready to find half-finished craft or knitting projects throughout the house.
22. If YOU have any inclination of being handy, be ready to build her all sorts of cool props and backdrops!
23. If you have un-used space in the backyard, be prepared for it to become a mini flowery field setup perfect for a newborn photography backdrop.
24. You won’t be surprised to see that the lovely sweater you saw her come home with last week very much resembles that little raggedy blanket, pants or hat in her most recent photos.. Don’t question it.
25. Be ready to learn the foreign language of flokati, froggy, merino, taco, aperture, etc. or to simply nod and smile.
26. You will have many opportunities to listen to her rant about crazy inquiries, fauxtographers, and the dreaded tax time.
27. Your walls and/or fridge will be covered with images of babies, even if you don’t have any of your own, and you probably will have no idea who they are.
28. Be ready to have yourself photographed a million times, but only see a few images if any, and yes they will be retouched before posted online whether you like it or not. Often they will be in the “I need to test something, stand there and look pretty” scenario.
29. If you notice her rocking back and forth for no reason at all. She’s fine.. for now.
30. Yes, you WILL walk into the room to find her doing some pretty weird things, like trying on maternity gowns with her shirt stuffed with blankets, or practicing posing or lighting with teddy bears or dolls, or just taking a dancing break..
    Tip: Just walk away..

BONUS: If she also photographs births.. You will enjoy the entire bed to yourself some nights (or early mornings) when she runs off to photograph a birth. But only after the lights and various sounds have woken you up of course!

BUT the best perk of all? She will be doing something she absolutely LOVES so she will be one happy camper! ..most of the time.